Just Another Tuesday Morning

Like many families our mornings are rushed (there must be a better adjective that describes the morning craziness, but I don't know what it is).  Yes, I could get up earlier (trust me I try).  Yes, I could do more in the evening so our mornings wouldn't be so rushed (I've tried this too, but never stick with it).  I could give the children more responsibilities and stop doing so much for them (but I've wanted to be the "mom" my whole life!!).  There are lots of solutions, all of which I'm aware of (all of which I've suggested multiple times to families I work with), but if I did any of those myself, I wouldn't have comical stories to share.

This morning the kids and I rushed from getting dressed and then headed into the kitchen for breakfast and lunch packing.  As Ellie sat down to wait for me to give her her leftover-from-the-weekend-pulled-from-the-freezer-and-nuked-special-just-for-her-pancakes she noticed that our cat named Blue, but who is orange (this is what happens when you let your four year old be in charge of naming the pet) had left a "prize" for us.  A bird.  It looked dead and I told Ellie, "Just leave it.  I'll have Daddy or Pops get it after work."  A few minutes later Ellie says, "Mom, I think it's alive.  It's tail just moved."  I told her that it looked pretty bad off and it would be better for the bird if Blue just finished him off so he wouldn't be in any misery or pain.  At this point Seth comes in and I start making nuking processed little pancakes for his breakfast.  Then, Ellie and Seth point out that the bird has suddenly come back to life (FAKER!! Smart bird!).

So, now we all decide that we'd better rescue this poor bird.  Ellie takes (a very angry) Blue and locks him in their bedroom while Seth and I open the back door and try to coax this-scared-out-of-his-ever-living-mind birdie back out by gently pushing it out with a "Highlights" magazine.  The bird suddenly remembers it has the gift of wings and flies away from the open door to the obscured glass window on the opposite side of the room.  Now, Seth runs to the front door (because this window is next to the front door) and opens it.  Once again, I attempt to gently guide the little guy with the "Highlights" magazine out the front door. (Yes, most people would just pick the bird up, cupping his wings to keep him from flying.  Sorry, but I don't pick up birds that just came back to life!!) The birdie then flies back towards the glass window by the back door and gets tangled in the kids' artwork strung up across it.  I try once again try to help this creature figure out that he needs to fly out the open door and not through the glass, but instead he decides to fly into the walk-in pantry and take refuge there.

Thus far this whole scenario has probably only lasted a minute, but every minute is crucial in the morning, so at this point I decide this little guy can hang out in the pantry while I make the kids' lunches and contemplate what I'm going to do.  All the while, secretly hoping he just figures it all out and flies out one of the open doors.  He does eventually make his way out of the pantry and out onto the tops of the kitchen cabinets.

The kids finish their 5-star breakfasts and head off to brush their teeth.  I finish making lunches and also go off to brush my teeth, stopping first to call my mom to let her know that I may need her to swing by the house and somehow coax this bird out if he doesn't suddenly figure it out in about 2.5 seconds.  By now the little guy has come to rest on the kitchen counter and is looking forlornly out the kitchen window.

While brushing my teeth, Ellie lets the cat out of the bedroom. (Dun, dun, dun....)  Of course he heads straight back to the kitchen to finish his job.  In the meantime, our wonderful-loving-12 1/2 year old- deaf-as-a-door-knob-black-lab has ventured into the front yard to great a morning walker and her doggie, completely unaware of cars coming down the road as he crosses the street.  Ellie is now yelling to me from the front yard, but by now I'm thoroughly confused stressed and think she's calling to me about the cat getting the bird.  As I run through the house on my way to the kitchen and pass the front door I realize she is out front yelling at the deaf dog in the street.  I change course and run out the door, down the walk, and out into the road to grab the dog who is-as-happy-as-can-possibly-be with his "great adventure" (probably for the week at his advanced age).

Now Seth is back in the kitchen hollering that Blue is on the kitchen counter and once again has the bird trapped under his paws.  I run in the kitchen, scoop up pissy kitty and run back to the kids' bedroom to once again lock him in.  By now we really need to be getting into the car, but I still have a bird on the counter and a cat locked away.

I head back to the kitchen and scoop a bowl that the bird has landed in.  I consider walking around the kitchen counter to go out the back door and hope the bird can still fly away, but I think, "What if I spook him and he starts flying all over the house again."  Instead, I stretch across the counter and attempt to point the bowl with the bird in it out towards the back door.  I ask Seth to grab the bowl while I come around the counter and much to our delight, the bird flies out the door before I even let go of the bowl!

Ellie hurries back to the bedroom to let Blue out, who proceeds to follow us out to the car with "killer eyes".  (Yes, I'm sorry I spoiled it Blue.  I have a tendency to spoil a lot of the fun around here.)  We some how make it to school on time and even get to spend a few moments watching one of the baby chicks in the incubator at Seth's preschool hatch out.

Maybe I should have titled this post, "The Birds"?!